Love Me If You Dare

"Hold me close and hold me fast..
The magic spell you cast..."

La Vie En Rose - Louise Armstrong
La Vie En Rose - Zazie

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Romancing MySelf Mixtape

Not much of a playlist, I'm afraid.

Well, i don't know, but lately I've been feeling lovey-dovey.
(yep, all those romance novels really brought out the worst in me)
Or at least, I missed feeling lovey-dovey (but it doesn't mean I want a new romance right now, no thank you vey much).
It's just it's been a while.. since the last of us.
Our togetherness. Midnight phone calls. Quirky lil e-mails.
Him whispering my name.
Ah, well. Those are surely neither here nor there now.
Still. This is pretty much my story.
Well, our story.
Right from the start ("Oh, it is love/from the first/ time I set my eyes upon yours"), with the awkward conversation ("I'd rather dance with you than talk with you"), silly flirting games ("Oh, love/such a silly game we play..") going out for coffee in Kakiang ("...about this ol' coffee shop that I love so much"), evening stroll in Ubud and the happy times, untill the unvoiced goodbye.


Hello Goodbye - Oh, It is Love
Kings of Convenience - I's Rather Dance With You
Matt White - Love
Pachelbel's Canon in D
The Macabees - Toothpaste Kisses
Louise Armstrong - La Vie En Rose (english)
HSM 3 OST - Can I Have This Dance
Sondre Lerche - I Wanna Call It Love
Landon Pigg - Falling In Love at The Coffee Shop
Aqualung - Strange and Beautiful
Jem - Maybe I'm Amazed
Pete Doherty - Lovers
Jack McManus - You Think I Don't Care
Paul Tiernan - How To Say Goodbye


"...goodbye/farewell/so long/au revoir..."

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Fairy Tales

I absolutely adore fairy tales, regardless how cynical I can be about its existence (or lack thereof) in real life.

Ella Enchanted, Cinderella Story, Ever After, and Sidney White.
My fave movies; some of them are modern day fairy tale.

This week I revisited our love-hate thing relationship (between me and fairy tales) by watching my kid sister's dvd (like any other lil girlies, she's crazy about Barbie and Princesses, her fave is 'Princess in pink' which by the way is actually Sleeping Beauty). Snow White to be precisely.
I know. Totally cheesy. It's abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous that she sang all the time. Oh, and what about the Grumpy Dwarf? There's nothing cute about dwarfs. I mean, eww. They had beard and crinkly face, seriously.


Snow White's never been my favorite story. I only saw it once before, like in the fourth grade or something. She doesn't even look that attractive to me (consider the irony when she's supposed to be the fairest of them all). I like Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and Beauty and the Beast better. Belle, Aurora, and dear ol' Cindie are way much prettier, I think. Snow White had this round face and chubby cheek. Stupid hair. And the dress too (like any girl who wears cape doesn't look ridiculous?).
Ah, well.
But there's this scene where Snow White sang into the wishing well surrounded by even way stupider singing birds. It was so corny, except that I fell for what she said.

"I'm wishing/ for the one I love/ to find me/ today..."

Gosh. I don't know, but I just felt like weeping.

I may be a cynical woman who gave up 'true love' and 'happily ever after' long ago (Gee, I feel like I'm a forty year old hag instead of the bubbly seventeen year old girl about town I'm supposed to be. Ah, well. I've never been that bubbly to begin for), but at heart I'm still hoping-no, dreaming about them.

The reason why I'm crazy for fairy tales; or any love story, really; is that they showed me something that might have been existed, however long ago, despite they're man-made fictions.

True love.

God, now I've turned mushy.

Anyways, I also happen to
read these amazing novel (ebook, to be precise) by Alex Flinn.
Beastly and A Kiss in Time.
A modern day Beauty and The Beast and Sleeping Beauty with twists.
The thing is, it's not just any fairy tales retelling.
Although set in today's Manhattan and Miami; they still have the magic.
The beast. The princess form a different time.
And they're funny.
Like in beastly, the estranged hot high schooler-turned-beast joined this chatroom consisted of people that's also turned by magic. Like the frog-turned-prince, mermaid-turned-human, and so on.
Oh, and the most important...
True love.

P.S. to download the ebook (much cheaper than buying the paperback, you can see it first then decide to buy, like i did) just click the books' title, kay.
Kisses...

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A Walking Contradiction

So... there's this movie that I've been wanting to talk about for so long (in which I found some interesting things). Vicky Cristina Barcelona.



so you guys probably knew or even watched it.

Why I wanna talk about this particular movie? Not because it's one of my favourite or anything. It doesn't even make my top twenty. Not that it's not any good. It's enchanting, I guess. I can't really tell, actually. I'd never watched any Woody Allen movie before this one so it's not like I can compare it with his other movies. I used to hear a lot about Woody Allen (but barely noticing), his movies about woman, and that he draws heavily on philosophy, literature, sexuality, and stuff. VCB is my first.

At first I thought, okay another big cliche, you went through a vacation that changed your life. I wasn't excited, but watched it anyways. A few scenes went, and okay, the setting is marvelous. Barcelona is breathtaking. The shots showed a lot of impressive parts of Spain, like the Gaudi's architecture, of course. And hearing the Spanish guitar (the soundtrack) made me feel like I was there having an enchanting holiday, breathing the fresh air of Barcelona. I was so in love already with the setting I barely noticed the storyline. Well, it pretty much tells a story about two different girls. Vicky, the practical one with her traditional in her approach to love and commitment (and is engaged to a reliable but unromantic guy). And Cristina, the spontaneous and adventurous one who doesn't know what she wants of life or love, only what she doesn't want (which, of course, what Vicky dreams about). And both their lives were rocked when this grumpy (but they think he's brooding and sexy) artist who's been trough a messy divorce with his wife whom he loves to distraction but never seems to get along with.

vicky's hold on reality starts to shake. she keeps wondering if what she tought she wants (marriage, a guy who appreciate the beauty of commitment, a crystal clear future), is not what her heart actually desire (an unpredictable love). And Cristina who finally moves in with juan antonio and his ex wife (and had sex with both of them, out of love;yeah pretty weird), thinks she's happy, but in the end, find out that that life also what she doesn't want and decided to leave. In the end, after all they've been through, they both come home to America, back to their former selves. No dramatic change direction, no nothing. Just one hell of a summer that will be forgotten (or not).

yeah, overall, it's pretty twisted. Satirical even. the humor is that, satirical, not everyone can get it instantly (like there's this scene where Juan Antonio said that his dad, who's a brilliant poet doesn't publish his work because he hates people in general, and punish them by not publishing his work).

And the part about the polyamorous relationship between Cristina, Juan Antonio, and maria Elena. Both Juan Antonio and maria Elena love each other so much, but it never work, and they claim that their relationship somehow missing a special ingredient to make it work, which is Cristina. Their relationship, from what I see, is not at all disturbing for me (towards the end). It just made sense, somehow. That there is love, so intense and whole, which can't get along (between Juan Antonio and Maria Elena). The hunger just to love and beloved in return (the way the three of them love each other). You know, just to love. It's enough (not for cristina, in the end).

And the marriage between Judy and Mark, her infidelity. I totally understand that. that after a while, love is not enough to keep you going, and all of s sudden you realise that you're in a rut. Trapped in a flat (without so much as passion) marriage. Of course it will come to that. Right? People get bored and sick of each other. Huh.

I guess the part where it reminded me of myself is the main characters traits, both Cristina and Vicky. I think I see myself as both of them. Seeing the movie is like some ah-ah ephypany that I've been waiting.

Once, back in the days when I still wore jeans and tee and love physic, Giov told me that I'm a walking contradiction. Of course my english not as good as it is now, I never fully understand what he meant back then. But I think I do now.

I can see myself just as practical as Vicky. I want that life. I want a man who can appreciate the beauty of commitment (doesn't everyone?). I have a future planned in mind. I'm sensible. No-nonsense.

But I think I can be Cristina too. I have the same spontaneous, adventurous side. But of course, I know what I want of life and love.

(not that I, unlike Galih and Beyonce, claim to have split personality. it's just who i am. sorta.)

(though of course, I'm a lil bit scared of what comes in the future. If I choose a life like Vicky, will I be like Judy? Trapped in a rut?

Otherwise, like Cristina, I'll never stop searching for something that's actually in front of my eyes, but just never seem to really look at it?)

Like the way I know life sucks, reality bites, no happily ever after, and all that bollocks; but still I never stop searching for the joy in life, still trying to enjoy the day like it's the last, that I keep on being happy despite what I've got to go trough.

The way I doubt true love and mariage, but nonetheless, still hoping.

That's just some part of me I guess.

there's a lot but I don't feel like talking more about myself, haha.
So there's that.

Overall, I enjoy that movie. For you, woman esp, try to watch it. maybe you'll get some ah-ah epiphany or some kind of revelation that you're waiting for. At least, there's something to take in.

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